10 July, 2015
How are you this week? So I've been thinking a lot about JOY this week. The reason for this is beause I have actually been challenged with something very personal in the last few days. And since fear is something we have all faced at one time or another, (or something you may be facing right now) I thought I would be honest and share my heart. I hope that's okay!
Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE to sing.
I'm constantly sing-talking (maybe you do that too?!)... I love all kinds of music... R&B, Jazz, Pop, Rock, Soul, Gospel, Blues, Classical... anything with a cool beat and overflowing with energy = I'm happy. I think my favourite of all time is listening to acoustic singer/songwriters... I just love their passion! Sometimes when I listen I feel like I am about to explode! Music just does something to me. Maybe you know what I mean?
So when I was little I put "concerts" on for my family (as you do!) My friend and I sang and created dances to "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" in her living room in Grade 4, and for my tenth birthday I was given a kids microphone on a stand, which my friends and I played with and pretended we were Whitney Houston. I've been singing in church since I was 13, I have been in wedding bands, acoustic duos and pop/rock bands all over Melbourne, I moved to Hong Kong to sing for 4 months, and I studied music at Berklee College of Music in Boston... YET... in recent years I have struggled with something. FEAR. Fear to sing. Not just a little bit nervous, I'm talking so insecure and intimidated my throat would tighten up and I would have to pray and encourage myself into it each time I sang or had a singing lesson. Sounds crazy right?
So when I arrived on Monday morning to attend worship school for two weeks at Bethel Church (here in Redding, California), you can imagine my initial reaction when my heart started asking "Hey Nat, we really should have a vocal lesson while you're here? Right?" My immediate response was fear. My body felt it right away and I started shutting down. Why? Because I know how I feel in these settings and no. No, I can't do that. But... I decided in that moment to face the fear and to sign up.
I know some of you might not know how much God loves you. He created you and he adores you, even if you don't know him yet :) But let me just share a testimony of his great love and grace toward me. Really, he's so good. For years, I have been struggling with fear to sing. I've pushed through and done it anyway, but it hasn't been easy. But over the past three days as I've let go and just asked God to heal my heart and show me, I've felt his love for me in a new way. Through the tears, the confusion, the frustration over many things, as I've questioned and not been able to reconcile so many things, he has been gently healing my heart. Becuase he is totally, 100% commited to restoring us.
There is no fear in love. Because perfect love drives out all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. :)
(1 John 4:18)
So I am excited to share with you... yesterday I walked into my singing lesson with NO fear at all. I felt so free, like a little girl just singing her heart out.
Like that little girl I once was, singing freely and with great JOY. I can't explain it, but God's love came into my heart. It drove out all the fear and I just had so much fun. Which makes me realise even MORE that this is so so true...
God is so faithful. His love is greater than we can even understand. In one moment he can restore everything. So today I pray that his love would override any fear in you, whatever it might be. There is nothing to fear. Joy is IN us and we have the choice every day. So today, I choose joy.
Bless you guys so much...
Images - via Pinterest
PROUD OF YOU!!!!
Love love love this !!! And so happy to hear it. So funny, I was just telling some friends today how "child-like" you are in your imagination and in your joy. Wow!! Love u??. Cheering you on!
Thanks for sharing Nat, as always full of honesty, encouragement & hope! Good on you & sing your heart out. Proud of you. Xx
Thank you beautiful Ella!!!!!! Here's to stepping out in new things babe! X
Aw thank you guys for your beautiful comments!! I am so blessed you read my work :) Thank you for always cheering me on :):) xxxx